The real mess.

It seems like such a joke. She was such a huge part of life, in my thoughts, a part of my sub-conscious self. There never was a day when i didnt think of her. Just cannot believe i ended it so easily, and what amazes me is the lack of any kind of feeling-I dont feel anything about breaking all kinds of connections with a person who was a part of my life for 3 frigin years!
Its only very rare now when i find myself thinking of her…mostly when Im alone or when I come across sumthn that reminds me of her.
I guess its mainly coz we never saw each other much…and frankly…i think talking about this is rather useless…

…met Dino in the eve today. Sat down for a beer with him, talkin about the usual stuff…what I want from my life…actualy told him I had agreed to live with mom in Nagpur only coz I wanted some responsibility now. After all, there is nothin else that can make a person aware of his self-worth. Was with him for about a hour and a half, then left for the cafe. Was uploading the blog and checkin orkut when there was a power failure. My RW CD was stuck in the drive, the CD i use to carry the blog text files from home to the cafe. I told the guy to get it out by ejecting it using a pin thru the pin hole. For his reply, he wanted and expected me to beleive that the CD-ROM of his junkbox had sumthn called ‘laptop technology’ and hence he cud not get the CD out. It was already dark, and the beer was makin me impulsive, so decided against havin an argument with him, and left the place. Told him i’ll collect the CD tomo mornin. Also told him i’ll pay for the net usage tomo mornin…after gettin the CD…

Am thinkin of askin sagar if I could use the net from his office for a few days. Uploading the blog hardly takes 5 mins.

Had been to college earlier in the day, the results are on the 21st. Was in the corridor, on my way out, when Mr. Waghulde (prof guy) called up from behind. He knew i was from Nasik, and as he had been transferred there this year, he asked me if I happened to know any good flats in Nasik. Promised him I wud help, took his number, and left. Went to the mandir, came out and lighted a cig. That was when an amazin wind started to blow everythin off..enjoyed those moments like anythin!

Was watchin Vanilla Sky at nite…Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz…is she hot…or is she hot?!

honeybrown

its not about today
today seems great
all seems good
all coz of you

its about the past
the past that was
when you ended it
but you couldn’t end my love
just the way you wanted it

the days were dark
the nights were blacker
I took it all
But couldn’t end my love

What did you do to me?
Sometimes you made me hate you
Sometimes I couldnt help missing your love
You were my drug
You got me hooked

My life sucked
You made it worse
You played games
With the die of my life

I lost control
I lost the will
I was a pawn
Mesmerized by his queen
Honeybrown

I lost the game
Even before I played it
You made me a loser
A reject

You stripped me
Crippled my pride
Made me a loser
In my own sight

love you
Queen Honeybrown

You make my day
To this day
—-

thats her.