Jack in the box.
Just a few days back, I had said that every day is vivid and distinct. Life can surprise you, but it feels really great when you get surprised by sumthn that ur goin thru. I had never even sub-consciously imagned that I would ever miss Washim. Even the thot of missin that place was so far-fetched that it hardly crossed my mind.
But, here i am in nagpur, and suddenly i feel myself missing washim. I got here yest morning, after a whole night’s journey. Dozed off and when i woke up, I found myself missin it terribly. Analyzing ur thoughts at such times can be fun, so i did that. I dont think I was missing Washim for what it was, but for what I made it out to be. I found myself wishing to talk to the ppl who were eith me there. I found myself looking at photographs of the places I loved there. So, In short…i was all mushed up.
The strangest thing was, I found myself doing things that I will never do when Im normal (cant think of any other word). I found myself forwarding really sentimental msgs to the friends in washim. And I kno, a few days from now, when i’ll be normal again, I’ll be calling myself an idiot for doin that. The mind can be weird…but the heart can take you for a ride sometimes….
And now I again feel the wave hittin me…just cant think anythin clearly. Cannot concentrate on anything. Its again sumthn i cant undrstand…a feeling i cant get hold of. A part of the mind wants to think bout washim, while the other wants to get over it. What a mess… Havent been comfortable here as yet…whats gonna do it for me? What do i want? Do i want the scoot here? Or friends? Just Wat? The new place is ready…just waitin to move there…will that help? Probably.
Lets see…have to wait…look at myself…still dont have the ‘at home’ feeling yet…so maybe thats wats wrong….
And I was proud coz I thought i was in control of myself. What a myth!
PS: The pics are from washim