I keep on thinking to myself…what is it that you do and love doing it? Which part of your life do you love? Why have you become such a whiner? Why are you frustrated even now that you are out of the dump?
I have a dream though…a dream I love…where I just leave everything behind and walk away to someplace unknown. I have it all planned out, sort of.Wake up one fine morning. Go to the railway station, take the first train I see (even the general bogey would do!) and go away! I wont know where it will take me, but thats the best thing about it. Get off at someplace, wander about, and, if I like the place, take up some job that can atleast take care of my basic expenses. Then live it up for a few days, and go away again to the next random town.
Will I like that life? I think I will.
But there’s a constant nagging voice at the back of my head…telling me to stop being immature, be responsible, grow up! You are going to be an engineer, it says. People expect responsible behaviour from you. Society expects you to act ‘normal’.
Why? Why should I tie my life down…why should I follow the rat race? Why should I follow my mind…when I know my heart is always going to be sad if I do so? Why should I kill the thrill and adventure of my life and be bonded to one plcae-one job-one society-one kind of life? Why cant I explore the world?And then the thoughts of going away come back again. The longing to be free…the freedom to live life…the freedom to expect nothing and anything. The freedom to get surprised every step of the way. The freedom to romance every drop of rain…every light breeze…every shooting star…every bit of the endless moonlit sky. All this without the thought of people laughing in my face-people calling me mad, unrealistic and stupid. I know I will love that life.