Ranting without watching – Krrish 3

Ok as the title goes, I haven’t seen Krrish 3 yet. Nor Krrish 2 or 1 or Koi Mil Gaya(….). I am not the target audience for these movies I believe. But I have seen X-Men and Avengers and the Dark Knight series. I love those/such movies. I have also seen and liked LunchBox and Satya and Company and David and Shaitaan. I don’t have anything against Bollywood.  But Krrish 3?

I might have seen a bit of Koi Mil Gaya(…). And I also like ET. But Koi Mil Gaya(…) had too much of mush. Sweet Hrithik Sweet Alien Sweet Piggy Sweet Dancing Sweet Kids. Too much of all that. No fun. So I didn’t bother about the follow-ups. But like all big Bollywood productions, there was lots of noise and excitement when they released. So there were the mandatory posters on streets, big ads in newspapers, et al. No one could miss the fact that the movie was coming out.

Then I think Rakesh (or is it Rajesh?…the producer/director main man) Roshan brought out action figures for Krrish. That was cool. Excited the kids for sure. And tee shirts and masks and all that. But at that time,  the merchandise was because of the popularity of the movie. Like, a sensible way to cash in on the popularity of the superhero.

But the other day I saw thsi article in a local newspaper about Krrish 3. It was obviously (I think) a paid, promotional article parading as a feature. The article was about the villains in the movie. Frogman. Rhinoman. Scorpionwoman. There were more, but I was appalled at the unoriginal names. Not that the concepts were original, but I mean, why the f**k can’t you come up with good names at the least? Then there was this whole thing about maanvars which is a cross between ‘manas‘ n ‘janwar‘.  Middleage Mutant Hindi Actors. This was the next major turn-off. Why can’t you be original, Bollywood? Frogman looks cool, I would have wanted to go catch the movie if he was called something cool. Mr. Longtongue? Dunno. just not plain ol’ ‘Frogman’. Then there was Kaya. And Kaal. Both these names reek of ‘oh-I-am-a-cool-dark-Hindi-villainish-name-and-I-am-dangerous’. Boring!  I don’t even want to get into the vampire-lord-whitefaced-mutant-scientist villain. (Who thinks people are comparing him to Heath Ledger, btw. Don’t know where he gets that from) I simply cannot understand why there was so little originality in the whole thing.

And then it hit me. They didn’t try to be original. They just wanted more characters – for more action figures. Krrish is popular anyway. They were sure they could easily earn back all the money that went into production. All the excited kids would ensure that. They didn’t need to break their heads over shit like originality and characters and all that jazz. They were actually out to create a new line of action figure toys for the kids of our country. The movie is just one long piece of advertisement for the toy line. And the best part? People would pay to watch the advertisement.

I envy the business sense of Mr. Rakesh (Rajesh?) Roshan.


PS: I don’t feel inclined to google if it was Rajesh or Rakesh. Nor to go and watch the movie. That article did it for me.